Since I heard the news, Marc has been a constant presence in my mind and heart. I've been sad to be on the other side of the world, in Egypt, far from the funeral and from those who knew and loved Marc. I've sorely missed my dear friend from our days at Stanford. I've missed living on the same hall with him. I've missed leading a Bible study group together and how we used to put our minds together to make a bigger difference in ministry. I've missed conversations during our jogs, over shared meals, and while riding in his old car. I've missed praying with Marc. And my heart has ached for Mr. and Mrs. Brierley, his parents, losing their only son. I've also not been able to imagine what days and nights must be like for Amy.
I miss my dear friend, and I've felt extremely sad, but in the midst of the shock and grief I've also found something good. Marc had ways of taking friends seriously. He'd smile right at me. He listened closely and really thought about what I had to say. He cared about speaking the truth to me, and he wanted to hear the truth from me as well. He didn't hold back from disagreeing with me, and yet he had ways of doing that that didn't put me off but pulled me near him. He also didn't hold back sharing about things in his life that were difficult, and he took the hard things in my life seriously. I always admired his walk with Jesus, and it meant a lot to me that he admired my life with Jesus, even as he was well aware of my failures. I was honored to have him stand with me in my wedding; I was honored again to be among those standing with him when he married Amy. As my heart and mind have flooded with memories of Marc, I've been inspired by the example of his life and strengthened by the love and respect Marc showed me as his friend. Looking back, I see that Marc had a way of honoring and dignifying his friends. Friendship with Marc was ennobling. I became more on account of his companionship with me.
Now as Marc is laid to rest, I long to honor him. I long to offer something that is worthy of the example he showed me with his life. I yearn to put something forward that will acknowledge how ennobling it was to be his friend.
As I've thought of this, the thing that keeps coming back to me is a deep desire to do what I can with the remainder of my life. I want to allow the picture of Marc's good influence on my life to reach its completion. For me, the best way to honor Marc and my friendship with him is by what I do with the rest of my own life—by what I become—in response to having been his friend.
When I told a couple friends here in Egypt of Marc's death, they responded with an Egyptian saying, "Il baqy fi hayatuk" ("May the rest [of his life] be in your life"). I'm not entirely sure what to make of this saying, but in this case, the words were very moving. Marc was a lover of Jesus Christ, the gospel, and the friends and world around him. Knowing Marc made me love these same things more. The inspiration that Marc gave me as his friend is turning into a deep well of resolve to offer all that I am, heart and soul, for these same things. Perhaps, as Marc's friends, we can honor his life and, in a way, complete what was cut short, by offering our hearts and souls for the things Marc cared about so deeply. This is the tribute I offer to friendship with Marc.
Dusty Ellington
Cairo, Egypt
The picture is from the last time I saw Marc, in September of 2007.
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